It Vanished......All of Sudden!!

Life doesn’t amaze you at times. There are times when you have to write your own love story. The love which meant everything to me vanished all of sudden. The love which was mine and I never knew …that it never belonged to me….

I still remember that night when we broke up. Everything was queer. We talked normally, everything was moving smoothly then suddenly she realized that it’s time to break up. It’s time to consider someone else; it’s time to forget the past. Things were not easy for me to accept such a tragic reality but she left no choice for me. We met through a common friend and fell in love. I took my own time before considering her as my soul mate. We used to fight a lot on each and everything. There was love beyond which I couldn’t see anything. She was lovable and I fell in love with her unconditionally and irrevocably. I went to meet her at his place. She came to pick me up. I left from home at night and didn’t inform anyone at home. It was a new year’s eve. People around me were so busy in wishing their loved ones a very Happy & Prosperous Year while I was thinking about Her only. I didn’t know what will happen when we come across face to face. We were going to meet for the first time in life. Finally, I reached at  his place. She was standing in front of me and I was so amazed to meet her.

We talked about our life, dreams and love. My love wasn’t enough to make her realize that I would be broken without her. I didn’t utter a word to show her my weakness. I was shattered and disappointed. On that day, I realized that I’m alive, still breathing but something has died inside of me forever. It was nothing but Love. My love for myself died inside of me. I didn’t have courage to love someone in the same way like I loved her. My love was so pure and clean. My love was above selfishness and foolishness. I loved her from the depth of my heart. She was looking damn cute. She was there to support through thick and thin times of my life. Why did she step back? Why didn’t she think about me? I cried for her for more than two years. She didn’t come back. She was gone forever.

We tried to be in touch. One fine day, she told me that she’s getting married. Once again, I died. I was broken. I was lost. I was feeling blue. I cannot deny that I still love her. It’s been a long time of three years but it feels like as if I have seen her yesterday only. I went to his place and made her aware about our love. I see her in my dreams. I can feel his presence in my thoughts and sheart. I cannot deny that I don’t have enough courage to move on. I still cry at night thinking about her. I have become practical but there’s a part of me which doesn’t want to accept that she has gone. She will never be there for me again.

I always supported her. I always loved her more than she loved me. I’ve lost that faith in believing someone else. I am what I am, not what you want me to be. If I’m not what I am…then what would I be? We live life once and we love once. It’s never a second chance in love. I wish everything good for her. I wish her to be happy always. May whatever she circumstances are, May she never sees a ray of sadness, May his world always be enlightened with happiness and ray of hope. I wish for her from she depth of my heart. She was her part of my family and she will always be.

True Love never happens again. She lied to me that she was getting married when she broke up with me. Today, she’s Happily- Married. God, I pray to you, if she ever comes across any problem then please sends that problem to me. She’s your best child and never breaks her she way you broke me. It hurts and I have realized that it was meant for me to happen this way.

After ever dawn, there’s light. After every struggle, there’s a tunnel, after every suffering, there’s a cure, after ever true love, there’s a feeling which says...…bring it more…more and more

WE ALL HAVE SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

Welcome to the darker side of humanity. The truth is that everyone wants to feel superior to someone or something else. We laugh at other people because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Everyone, without exception, does this.
Yes, I’m saying that human beings have a natural bend towards cruelty. I’m not condoning it. I’m just saying that it’s real. I understand better than most. I used to weigh 400lbs. I know a thing or two about cheap laughs made at my expense!
When your cat is batting a piece of lint and accidentally falls off the couch, you laugh!
Why? Well we mask it and say “That’s so cute!” but in reality we’re laughing because we feel superior to the cat! After all, WE certainly wouldn’t fall off the couch because WE were overly excited about lint!
Yes, I know how stupid that sounds. I promise you it’s true. Another example of this is how we laugh at celebrities and politicians! We find ways to laugh at powerful people because it brings them down to our level…
Obama has big ears. Bush can’t speak. Clinton… Where do I begin?
For a while Britney Spears jokes were in vogue. Why? Put simply laughing at her monumentally messed up life made us feel better about our own.
Like I said. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m saying it’s true.

The thing is as a comedian it’s possible to use superiority without hurting anyone. Used ethically and in small doses there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it!

How do you accomplish this? You make fun of yourself.

• It’s cool to make a fat joke, but only if you’re fat!

• It’s cool to make jokes about an ethnic group, but only if you’re part of it.

• It’s cool to make jokes about your marriage if you make it clear that you really do love and value your spouse.

You can get a laugh by making fun of other people but it’s unethical. As someone who’s spent a lifetime being the brunt of other people’s jokes I can’t condone it. As a professional entertainer it’s just not worth the risk. The last thing you want is your audience turning against you.
That brings me to my final point… Let’s say that you make a joke that absolutely doesn’t work. Instead of roaring laughter you’re met with an awkward silence. Provided you weren’t offensive there’s a no-fail way to save the situation using the principle of superiority!

Cute Love story

Two butterflies were in love.........
One day, they decided to play Hide n Seek.......

During the play.....
Boy Butterfly - "A small game within us"
Girl Butterfly - "OK"
Boy Butterfly - "The one who sits in this flower tomorrow early in
the morning.....that one loves the other one more....."
Girl Butterfly - "OK"

Next morning, the boy butterfly waits for the flower to open so that
he can sit before the girl butterfly does......

Finally, the flower opened.....
What did he see.....?????........

.
.
.

The girl butterfly had died inside the flower.....

She stayed there all night......so that early in the morning......as
soon as she sees him.......she can fly to him and tell him how much she
loved him........

This is true LOVE....
Life is LOVE....... 

LIVING MIGHT MEAN TAKING CHANCES, BUT THEY ARE WORTH TAKING......
LOVING MIGHT BE A MISTAKE, BUT ITS WORTH MAKING.

Expressionless I may be..!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

My Dearest,

You know that I'm a person of few words. I don't often say what is on my mind and even if I do, it usually doesn't come out quite right. But what I do not express verbally doesn't mean I don't feel it in my heart.

I may not say I love you everyday as some do. I may not have bought you beautiful gifts on occasions that matter. I may not have empathized when you were crying out for understanding. And I may not have done the right things to make you feel loved.





If you are going to judge me on these things alone, I know I have failed miserably. But if only you could look through my heart to see who it is beating for, you would know the depth of my love for you.

Darling, my emotions may not show but a love that is mostly hidden like mine is always deep and eternal. My heart can accommodate no other apart from you and I know this is how it is going to be for the rest of my life.

Expressionless I may be. Cold I may seem. But true love doesn't need to be shown. It resides in the heart just as how it resides deep in mine. And no matter the seasons that will come and go, it will be there withstanding the test of time.

As I write this today, the words are hard to flow. It is not my nature to be expressive. But no matter what, I want you to know that you are loved and cherished. And I want you to know that I do care. My words will never be able to describe exactly how I feel so, let me end this letter with 3 simple words, straight from my heart:


I love you so...
Sweet Dreams

No Love without Acceptance, No Life without Love

From reading Atonement, by Ian McEwan; Waltzing the Cat, by Pam Houston; and The God Box, by Alex Sanchez; I feel confident in declaring, to be alive means to love and to be loved. The characters in each of these books lead completely opposite lives but all were on the same mission, to find love. The search for affection mixed in with the journey of life creates an equation that equals times of bliss as well as times of whirlwind downfall. In order to make this equation more positive then not, these characters have shown me how important it is to live life with an accepting heart and mind. Briony from Atonement, Lucy from Waltzing the Cat, and Manuel from The God Box, have shown that love without acceptance is non existent and life without love is meaningless.

Atonement introduces us to a character, Briony, who lives a life that lacks acceptance. No one, not even herself, ever lives up to the unrealistic standards she sets. Even as a young child Briony lived in this harsh way, always criticizing her own writings and believing her plays were never good enough. Briony also applied this harsh judgment on other people. For example, when her cousins wanted to be in her play their acting skills were never up to par in her opinion. The last straw, that ruined her life, was pulled when she decided she would not accept the unexpected.

After Robbie confesses his love for her sister Cecilia, Briony decides that they are not allowed to love each other. Briony set her mind on not allowing them to be together which eventually leads Robbie into being blamed for the rape of a 15-year-old child. This lie incarcerates him for many years to follow and causes Briony to feel rejected and foolish for the rest of her life. Briony spends the rest of her miserable existence trying to seek forgiveness for her childhood mistake. During these years she is unable to accept what she has done and instead takes on nursing jobs, as a form of “punishment”, hoping to erase her mistake.
I believe Briony’s faults lie in her inability to understand that some people will never forgive, and a mistake cannot be undone. Rather than dwelling and getting involved in nursing jobs, just because she thought it would redeem her, she should have accepted the situation, learned from it, and moved on. By following these steps Briony could have eventually been able to love herself. Although this sounds easy, I have defiantly found myself in Briony’s shoes at one point of my life and proceeding in that fashion is not as easy as it sounds. In 7th grade I did something that I thought I would never be able to get over. I regretted the decision I made with all of my heart and constantly thought about how stupid I was to make that decision. The feelings I felt during this time period were terrible and I wanted nothing more than to undo the mistake I made. Eventually though I came to realize, in order to be happy again I must move on. I figured out the world was not going to end but would be much less fulfilling if I dwelled on what I had done. The lessons learned from mistakes are the greatest lessons one will ever learn in their lifetime. The perks of living life sans regret can be seen throughout Waltzing the Cats.

Lucy, the protagonist in Waltzing the Cats, is on a journey towards discovering that acceptance is the key to love, which in the bigger picture is the key to life. Although Lucy is prone to the wrong decisions at all the critical times and constantly finds herself back in a disappointing situation her ability to get back on her toes astonishes me. She is an accepting woman who gives all kinds of men a chance to be in her life. Her share of men range from, Gordon, the lover turned stalker; Carter, who is extremely physically and emotionally distant; and Erik the almost perfect alcoholic; always hopeful that they might be the right one for her. Even though they aren’t Lucy learns from them and understands that things rarely go according to plan.
Lucy has an amazingly ability of being able to accept the flow of life and people around her but Lucy’s biggest hurdle seems to be in accepting herself. Throughout her childhood Lucy lived in a home with a mother who always criticized her daughter’s body and a father who never mustered up the courage to tell his daughter he loved her. Eventually though, with the help of some wise friends, Lucy discovers how to trust in herself and all she has to offer the world.
I find that I relate most to Lucy. Her main problem seems to be accepting herself, a problem I often find myself dealing with. I have never been comfortable with my body and have struggled all my life to make it what I want. Even though some may think there is nothing wrong with it, like Lucy, I am my biggest critic. The process of self-improvement often has a destructive impact mentally and emotionally. When I ask myself what I “should do” or what I “should be” I set myself up for self-rejection. Although this is one of the downsides of Lucy’s personality her ability to live without regret is remarkable.

Lucy’s ability to never regret something that at one time made her smile is phenomenal. Even when things don’t go as she had hoped, she continues to seek out the adventures that make her adrenaline pump and the men that put a smile on her face. She accepts her current situations and never gives up the determination of finding an even better one. Like Lucy, I have discovered it is best to learn from my mistakes and trust my hearts belief that eventually the pieces will fall together. Like Lucy, I too make mistakes but never do I let them determine what will come next, I make those decisions on my own. A character who takes acceptance to a whole other level is Manuel.
Manuel is a character I learned a lot from. In my opinion he is the definition of a person who has found his way to uncovering the meaning of life. He completely accepts himself, others, and the ups and downs of life. This ability allows him to love and to be loved by others freely.
One way in which Manuel demonstrates his gift of acceptance is that ever since the age of twelve he has been openly gay. He has never tried to deny his true identify to himself or to others, which has benefited him greatly. Manuel also does not put pressure on his best friend, Paul, to come out of the closet. Throughout their friendship Manuel knows that Paul is gay but he understands that not everybody can be as honest with himself or herself as he is. Lastly, even after Manuel gets beat up by his classmates he still rejects the temptations of blaming a higher power or seeking revenge. He accepts what has been done to him and continues to look forward to a better tomorrow.
I admire Manuel for his positive view on life. Manuel strengths lie in the fact that he accepts everything in life he is given. He believes it all happens for a reason and accepts that not everybody is able to have the same mentality he has. Because he does not judge he is able to live a meaningful life filled with love. Manuel way of handling life is something I envy. He is able to accept himself and others to the fullest degree. This is a quality I must still work towards.
Manuel does not judge others, which I think is his greatest characteristic. I find it hard to be nonjudgmental all of the time. My sister is a very unique individual who could probably be considered my opposite. I often find myself judging her and picking apart what I do not approve of in her life. When I do this it often leads to the two of us getting in fights. Even though I know life would be easier if I could just accept her for whom she is, it is often too difficult for me to do so.  I would like to understand that everyone has the free will to choose any lifestyle they desire. Who am I to say what they are doing is right or wrong? When I judge others I restrict my ability to seek out the good in them, which is what I should be seeking out in them. I know I must work towards being more accepting of others.
All three of these books prove that individuals must accept the positives as well as the negatives in themselves, in one another, and in life. These characters have helped me realize that it is much more difficult to change a quality a person poses or alter a situation, than it is to accept that person or situation for what it is. When a person learns to accept themselves, other individuals, and the ups and downs of life, their life will be positive and filled with love. Briony, Lucy, and Manuel show that hurts and disappointments are part of life but Lucy and Manuel have discovered how to accept what life dishes out. Similar to Lucy and Manuel, Briony wants to be loved but unlike the other characters she is hindered by her inability to forgive herself and accept what had happened in the past. The ability to accept without judgment is one of the secret ingredients to happiness. Denying reality never brings love to a person or any of the people around them.

Unscientific Answers About True Love

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?

• It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?

• It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?

• It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?

• It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?

• It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions ofLove, because you don't want to hurt them?

• It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?

• It isn't Love, it's beingUnconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?

• It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?

• It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?

• It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?

• It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?

• Then it's Love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?

• Then it's Love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?

• Then it's Love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?

• Then it's Love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?

• Then it's Love.

But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?

• Then it's Love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?

• Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
Love

Scientific Answers for WHAT IS LOVE?

Here are some things I found about what love is...

Researchers (Hatfield & Rapson, 1995) have broken up love into two main types:

Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.
Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.
Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?

This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.

Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?

This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?

Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.

This a close friend sent me e-mail:

Infatuation vs. Love

Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning.

The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

What Is True Love?

What is True Love?(Truth Is...)

Love is caring what you say and tempering it even when angry. Love is stronger than you, Love is smarter than you...

Love is when you feel things that you should not feel and tell your mate gently, and asking them to help you fight those feelings. Love is a friend, partner, companion and confidant.

Love is painful indeed, for love in truth means denying oneself's interests for the purpose of growth of the new being. Love is selfless and unselfish...realizing when it is not and correcting it.

Love is holding on to that which gives you the deepest comfort, the one(s)unseen by anyone else but you. Love is when you can tell yourself that pride has no place in your thoughts but only in your feelings for they that yoy feel love for.Love is bigger than you, it is better than you.

Love is having the courage to face even the most negative part(s) of yourself and fighting them, even getting your mate to aid you. Love is sharing a common goal and a common interest that interest being the success of the relationship. love is relentless, undaunted, and unceasing...

Love does not insult, does not berate or debase. Love picks up the load when you loved one is unable, knowing that your reward will come for Love is sure of it's ability and knows it will be recompensed.

Love doesn't count what it has done or what another has not, rather, love counts only the many things that it can and will do to strengthen. Love is resillient, constant; Love persists, it does not give up or out, it does not stop...

Love indeed is painful.as it requires you to let go of yourself as you know yourself to be to become a totally new creation; one of exqusite beauty and never before seen treasure. Love is precious, sacred,beyond placing of monetary value...

Love can not be touched with the hand but can touch the heart and soul, Love can change the spirit as well as the mind. Love may cloud your thoughts but it also makes it clear...if you wait for the stom to pass and the clouds to disappear...

Love can be dark, yet it shines with the brightest of light at at times illuminates the dimmest parts of oneself pulling the weeds that choke the garden of our heart. Love refines and defines, it reveals and refurbishes; but first love must wear you down before building you up, thus assuring that your respect is pure and impenetrable...

Love is a protection as it prevents you from denying, depriving, and destroying the source of your inner and lasting joy and peace, for love allows you to let down your defenses with confidence that your heart will be given the greates care. Love will defend your heart so that there's no need to be offended. It will always be there, even after you forsake it, it will give you the strength to seek it's face yet once more...

Attract Love. Be loved and Give Love Freely

I Think it's safe to say that we all want to be loved, and need more love in our lives. But finding and keeping love seems to be one of those age old mysteries.

From the time we are born, we hear the words "I love you" from our parents and other family members. And as we grow into adulthood we learn that love is something to be cherished and sought after,but it can come with consequences and be confused with other emotions.

People will often think negative thoughts about love..like "Love Hurts" or "Love is a lie." And of course thinking these types of thoughts often can lead to more of those feelings that create those thoughts, and it becomes a self sustaining cycle.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from a MySpace comment I saw that said: "Everyone says that love hurts. But that's not true! Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love. But in reality, LOVE is the only thing in this world that covers up the pain and makes us feel wonderful again".
I am a firm believer in the "law of attraction" which is the idea that we receive whatever it is we perceive and believe in. Based on this idea, I went in search of positive ideas to fill my mind with. During that search I found this YouTube Video.

I don't think this video will summon your true love for you, but it may help you feel a bit more loved in general, and that watching this video often ...say once a week, Could help to improve your thoughts and feelings about love over time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj08M9X398Q&feature=player_embedded

When You're Gone..

"I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me"